musings and more

What do you see when you look at the mirror? Fat arms, wide hips, stubby legs? Protruding teeth, uneven jaw, slanted eyes? Do you like many other women, including yours truly fail to see yourself in a better light in the mirror? Do you keep wondering if only my lips were fuller, eyes were bigger, cheek bones higher...etc. etc? But when it comes to describing other women you think of them as prettier, more beautiful, one with nice features? Why do we traumatize ourselves like this? Just the other day I met a friend who said she thinks she has fat Punjabi arms. I think of myself as fat whereas my mom likes to describe me as curvy and when I talk about my cousin I tell her that she is lean while she thinks she has wide hips. Do you notice the pattern here? Why are women so critical of their selves? And why instead of embracing our natural beauty do we try and correct what is not perfect?                  ...

Recently at a fund raising lunch while introducing the US Attorney general, President Obama called her by far the best looking law-maker of the country. The remark resulted in a huge outcry in the social blogging site, Twitter. And following that Obama called up Kamala Harris to apologise for his sexist remark. Sexist remark? really? Yes, commenting on a woman's personal appearance in a professional environment is a big no-no. But then, it is not like he made a derogatory remark. Apparently, the same day, in an interview, Mrs O made a slip-up and called herself a single mother. Apart from the can of worms that might open about their personal life, I feel that there is nothing wrong in noticing that your female colleague is well-dressed or good looking. It is not cocky when a Shah Rukh Khan or Saif Ali Khan does it while introducing their co-stars on stage at the many award shows they host! Nor is it considered to be sexist when TV show hosts use similar adjectives to introduce ...

In a recent report , it was stated that widows in Vrindavan will play holi with colours. Really, now? I mean, more than 100 years after the practice of sati was banned? Surely this change could've come about at least 50 years ago. Why is our attitude towards widows still regressive? Why is that the life of a widow is still pitiful in modern India? Why even today in urban societies, some families do not include widowed women in celebrations. There are communities living metros who still don't allow a widow to be a part of her own son/daughter's wedding. How unfair is that? And they aren't invited for certain functions though they might be educated, employed and financially independent just because her husband passed on before she did. Isn't that attitude just pathetic? Doesn't the society who inflicts such humiliation on them realise that anyone could be fated to lose a spouse and they shouldn't be punishing the woman for it? That their own daughter or da...

There are days we take up too much on ourselves. While it's a great idea to rise to a challenge occasionally, it is also important to slow down, smell the roses, head for a walk in the park, spend time with an old friend, move furniture around, read back issues of your favourite magazines, watch your favourite movies, or simply sit back and enjoy a cup of tea, coffee, smoothie, soup- whatever you fancy. And it's not everyday that we can slow down in competitive times like these. There are a lot of things that need our attention. So it becomes more important to make sure you take time off occasionally. In my case, kick back with a suleimani and a book in hand. All you need is a few mint leaves and a quarter of a lime and it makes for such a refreshing, yet calming drink. What's your idea of taking it easy?

According to a newspaper report , a lot of women are putting off motherhood till they entered their forties.  Reason- they are busy actualizing a career, chasing a dream job. According to the report, a lot of them turn to artificial methods of conception like IVF (in vitro fertilization) as their biological clocks have slowed down making it difficult for them to conceive. But is waiting till you are forty to have a baby a good idea? Don't label me to be conservative when I say this, but I think women should start planning to have babies by the time they hit mid-thirties or not have a child at all. Before you point out and say- easy for you to say this- you don't have a baby as yet, how do you know what you're talking about; let me tell you about a close family friend who has undergone innumerable treatments trying to conceive and has been unsuccessful till now. She tells me how painful it can be. The injections and medication leave her with very little energy ...

One may think that opting to wear a traditional silk sari for a wedding is boring. But I'd say quite the opposite. There are different drapes to try. Another way to make a silk sari look interesting is to play around with the blouse. Here's something I tried. That way, even if you opt for a simple drape, your back looks stylish, what say? ;)

I was at a wedding recently, where I saw different kinds of women- authoritative women, positive women, self-involved ones, those striking a fine balance between work and life... It got me thinking- what does it mean to be a woman today? Are we really liberated as we would like to think? Don't we still need to be a certain way and do certain things to be acceptable by our society at large? I, who was raised by two women from different generations, got different reactions when I declared my wish to go on a sabbatical. But naturally, I expected varied reactions. According to my grandmom, I will be free to do what I felt like after I get married. And right now, I must fulfil my duty as a daughter and contribute to the daily bread. Whereas my mother, wholeheartedly supported the decision and left the choice to go back to employment when I feel like. Did my grandmom's reaction subtly imply that I am not free to make a choice I want while I am at my own home? Will I be free to d...